Departure

The mixed feeling filled my mind while fighting against drowsiness from last night - I hardly could sleep by being too nervous about my departure to the US. My mother was helping me pack my stuff into a big hard suitcase. "This is the last thing I can do for you before you leave our home.", she said.

I was sitting by the window where I could view the planes waiting to fly. My mother was sitting next to me. Probably she couldn't sleep well last night, too. We were sitting together almost in silence. I didn't know what to talk with her. I was really happy to leave Japan which had been my strong dream since graduating from high school. But I was also very nervous about starting my new life alone in the city where I had never been. This is what I really wanted so I must obtain it no matter what. Sometimes I have to ignore my fear.

"Thank you, mom. I'll be alright. Don't worry. I'll contact you when I get there." I tried to make the farewell as smooth and dry as possible. No tears, no hugs, only I wanted to show her that I'm strong enough to carry out everything alright.

After entering the security gate, I was still nervous. After about 13 hour of flight, I'll be in Chicago. I have to be strong and keep my awareness high on everything around there. Different language, everything is unfamiliar, I have to guard myself.

The plane took off, I was sitting between Japanese college students who were probably going to the US for their school trip or a short term study program. I couldn't keep my eyes dried. I had a fit of overwhelming feeling and started to cry.